How to Become the First Teacher in your Toddler’s

How to Become the First Teacher in your Toddler’s Home

Hello!

Today I’d like to talk about starting music education with very young children (from infancy and before the age of 3). Many parents understand that while a child is especially young, the entire foundation of his spiritual and intellectual life is laid in his mind, and therefore try to organize every possible activity for him that could help the him receive the essentials for his musical, artistic, and even scientific endeavors.
All of this, of course, is great – heading out to some sort of agency where a child can join a group of his toothless peers, listen to music, move around, look at big, pretty decorations.. But there are a couple of important facts that any young parent should be aware of.
1. A child under 3-4 years old isn’t socialized yet, and a large number of unfamiliar people around is more often a minus than a plus when it comes to lessons. In the worst case, the child will experience stress. In the best case, he will only spend the better part of the lesson being distracted by minor details.
2. A younger child of preschool age easily catches all sorts of infections and often, the attendance of group lessons ends tearfully.
From this, we can draw a conclusion: the surroundings of the home are the best for the development of the child, because the element of a new experience can be added to the well-known, familiarized space in such a way that it can be focused on properly, and as a result can be learned from. Many parents prefer to lead (or rather carry) their children to class because they aren’t confident in their own abilities, and can’t imagine being a teacher instead of a mommy or daddy. In fact, I often hear the parents of my students complain that toddlers don’t heed their guidance and throw tantrums.

Really, not only children, but even adults tend to establish relationships “by rank” – this is a supervisor, this is a colleague, this is.. who knows. Sometimes it is very hard to mix this up. Hard, but not impossible! Remember that mothers in olden times were the first teachers of their children. In order to master this role, all you need to do is follow a few simple rules:

1. Remember that you’ve got plenty of knowledge about the world in order to begin the education of your child. There is absolutely no need for you to become a professor of language, literature, of musicology in order to introduce your child to basic knowledge of literature or music.

2. Your discipline is the most important for lessons. For instance, if you want your child to take good care of his teeth, you encourage him to brush his teeth twice a day, right? With lessons, it’s the same thing: set a schedule. Your lessons might be planned for once a week, but they must be REGULAR. Keep to the schedule and plan other activities around the lessons. For instance, a trip to the haircutter’s or a visit to friends’ can wait until a different day.

3. NEVER express strong emotions in regards to your child’s lessons. This means that lessons are just another facet of everyday life, and not anything out of the ordinary. There’s no need to call up all your friends and passionately share about the start of the lessons and how well they’re coming along. If you can’t help but share, then don’t do it around the toddler. Why? Because excessive attention from his parents puts extra stress on a young child.

Why? Because he’s already managed to get used to the fact that when everything is good and calm, everyone focuses on their own business. Occasionally, he has to reach for the hem of mom’s skirt or even start crying in order for somebody to finally give him their attention. This is what the child has gotten used to.
If a the parents make a big deal about the child’s activities, then this means that something’s off and that he’ll eventually be forced to get a shot or swallow a bitter pill, or put on uncomfortable clothing then get dragged to some unpleasant place where people are going to pinch your cheeks.

4. Treat your child not as your “offspring,” a successor of your family that simply must draw praise and fame to it, but as an unrelated person that you don’t know that well, though you’d like to – as well as teach. If you are a teacher, then you must respect the lack of knowledge and skill in the child. This is easier said than done, but there is a trick: The Universal Educational Equivalent. Or, more simply put, your home “currency.” Cut out some butterflies or little flags out of colored paper and tell the child that this is “money” that you will pay him for his work.
What is this money for?
-it makes your activity with the child more “official”
-it turns your lessons into a game “of interest”
-it motivates the child to practice with gusto
-it promotes the progress of the child materially (children of younger preschool age can’t think abstractly yet and must be able to “touch” their achievements
-it give you control over the lessons: “with money,” one can always negotiate the terms. For instance: “if you sing the notes while you play the song, I’ll give you two butterflies instead of one!”

Most importantly, don’t ever give in. Don’t coax the child for the sake of not “hurting his feelings.” If he loses, you take money away. If he wins, you give him money. Otherwise, the child will understand that no matter how hard he works he will still be rewarded, and he’s lose his motivation. And then.. in life, on the playground, in the yard, no one will feel like playing with him. Teach him the harsh reality of life: if you don’t sweat a little, you won’t get anything.
One last bit of “financial” advice – your butterflies or flags must be backed by a “gold standard,” namely a product that the child can buy with his “salary.” There’s no need to play “long term loans:” let’s save and buy a bicycle. The award should exist and have its price. In the United States, we have special sections in our supermarkets for “holidays.” There’s all sorts of useful stuff there: balls, small animal figures, airplanes, dolls. Cheap and handy. Candy also works well… but dentists aren’t cheap, and it’s better not to abuse it. Anyhow, you get the idea. Before a lesson you show the child the “goods,” and tell him that this toy, for example, costs ten butterflies. Shall we start earning?

Very interesting and useful indeed.
The only thing I'm not sure of related to the reward.
I agree they have to learn that one needs to do something, to "sweat" a little or more in order to get what he wants.
In the same time, in my opinion there's also the issue of making a habbit out of doing it (playing the piano) for his own pleasure too and not only for a reward or for obtaining a material reward.

We need incentives, it's true. And the first incentive I want for me and for our children when learning to play the piano is to do something to have the satisfaction, the joy of being able to sound out (good) music with our own hands, to sound out even our own feelings (at an advanced level). This is the first reward I want them to be used to - the emotional, the spiritual one, the one related to our soul. Then the others, the "financial" ones etc.

I just shared my thoughts, not my experience. I still have to wait a little until using my Soft Mozart version. But from what I have seen so far with my oldest son (almost 3 years and a half) is that his biggest joy is to sing with his voice, to dance and to play an instrument - he loves the piano. So I want to keep this spirit going, and let him enjoy music in all the ways he can feel and express it. Maybe I won't need a rewarding system. But I will need consistency and a schedule, as you said, Hellene.


Andrea

Andrea,
I hear you!
However, kids love to play. I remember my childhood. When I lost the game, it made me eager to start it over and win.
The 'points' are helping to see self-growth in precise numbers.
Well, we'll see, when you will receive the Soft Mozart.

He's just my first. I have little experience with children.
Not only I will have to wait and see his reaction, but I will have to wait and see also the reaction of the second (coming next year).
I will try your ideas and will share the results.

Hehehe yep little paper shaped cars to exchange for a matchbox car will make him do anything! I am totally open to using bribes, provided they are earnt. I thought i was the only mum in the world left who still believed in making kids work for their rewards! My kids go to a school were all the mums think all the kids should get a ribbon or trophy. Drives me nuts trying to explain the other side of the problem! I am aiming for awesome kids not spoilt brats.
My son will try again tomorrow, I will just see how he goes if he needs further motivation to get started then out come the paper cars! Thanks Hellene.