Music Journey with my 3-year-old daughter

Hellene,

Yes! I remember time, when I was a child and I learned how to dance the 'twist'. My parents and their friends were chasing me to 'twist' for them. Oh, how did I hated it! But when they gave me some candies and toys, I did it. But once I said: 'I don't work here any longer'

I pretty much agree with your statement about making it a business transaction. I am not sure how to make that work with a just turned 3 year old. It doesn't really work with Philip, I don't think he is old enough yet.

In our house you are not paid for chores. Everyone has chores to do and that is part of being in the family. Everyone receives the blessing from being in the family. If you don't do your chores you are either fined or you miss out on certain benefits of being in the family.

However, when it comes to things where the primary beneficiary is the child: school work, music and other activities where the child is required to perform and do their best, then we pay for those. I know there are those who think that you shouldn't - doing a good job is it's own reward. But, as I told my husband, he wouldn't stay in a job that didn't pay. Right now the child's job is to learn and develop good habits that will carry him through life.

We pay not for completing a task but for doing it correctly, timely and cheerfully. We pay a child for working beyond his current level. We pay for developing the "Habit of Attention", which is a Charlotte Mason term for paying attention to what is going on and what you see, focusing and not day dreaming.

The child is paid with money and then expected to manage his/her money. If the child neglects to do what they ought they are fined. All of this is determined ahead of time so the child knows the fines and also the pay scale. But then bonuses are up to mom. The point of all of this is to get the child to develop the habit of hard work. That is difficult when the child is gifted. All early learners are going to be gifted and if parents are not careful - LAZY. This has worked well with my oldest son. He has developed good money skills as well.

Anyway, I still don't know how to work it out with a 3 year old. If anyone has good ideas let me know. We do implement this a little bit with Philip. I want him to start paying attention more and focusing on what he is told to do and following directions. So when we go for walks I ask him to look for either a certain flower or bird or bug. When he sees one he may come to me and I will give him a fruit snack. This is working well. He has moved to finding and announcing these things to me even without the reward - simply because he has come to love birds and flowers and bugs.

WHOA! That's a huge pile of education! How on earth do you get thru it all! We struggle to get just SoftMozart and LR done most days. I add in a bit of math with what ever kid has a spare moment and read with them when I have a spare moment. I am trying to find spare time for Spanish and speed reading but havnt found it yet.
Personally in comparing your three years olds scores and progress to my sons first few weeks....well you are way beyond! His first Hot Cross Buns went for so long on the timer it was 3 digits...I remember one mum said they actually hit the limit of the timer!
It's tricky teaching little kids but so rewarding. You have to shift your focus off teaching piano and put it towards finding ways to make music fun and exciting. But at the same time convince your kids to actually practice! Lol it's a fine line ( that I often miss!) it seems to me you are doing a great job.
To play the games pick a short time (2 mins seems reasonable for your child) and stop the game after that time. Record the score. It's much easier to see progress if you always play the same time. It's also better to stop the kids playing before they get sick of the game. Quit while they still want more. Keep it up, super mum

I love this conversation. I keep taking Manda's adive - a little bit every day. This is supposed to be fun for them. I think we get pushy as parents because we see what all these "other" kids can do. And you realize that your child isn't speaking 5 languages, reading phonetically in 4 languages, doing 6th Dan mental math, playing Mozart with both hands, and leaping small buildings while reciting Shakespeare by the age of 3. All this while you hold down a full time job, grow all your own food and bake your own bread, plus make your own cheese and soap (because it is better for them you know.)

Hellene will tell you that they will figure it all out. AND you are not a bad mommy if your kid isn't doing it all just like the "other" kids. This is a marathon not a sprint. We have a long way to go and we have a bit of time before we arrive. If you do your job right, they will never arrive but will find a love of everything around them.

You are doing just great Christine. This post was as much for me as it is for you.

Christine, what you describing here is normal for any family.

Christine_C88 wrote: I get frustrated because she is so independent and won't take any guidance from me. lol

It is not 'independence' - it is rather the 'role confusion'. Kids sort everyone by 'genre': here is my mom - she is nurturing and babying me. here is the teacher - she is teaching me. here is mu dad - he is playing with me etc... Your goal is to put 'teacher hat' on and separate this hat from 'mom's hat.

How to do it? I think, it would be helpful to start lesson with 'bell' or words: 'lesson time'. Such announcement will help to separate daily routines from the time of learning. Say: now I am a teacher and you are my smart student!

Teacher OUGHT to have some authority and power! I usually tell my very young students: I am a queen here, this is my kingdom. I have my own money and my own goods. If you will learn from me, you'll earn something and will be able to buy goods. If you disobey, I will charge you for that and you will end up with nothing. Agree?' And I never wait for an answer since it could take forever

I don't believe in democracy, when it goes to early learning, because kids have no clue and they need to know all the boundaries. I also very strict at the beginning with money. If I say: if you will put your toe in your mouth you will loose 1 music dollar, I take dollar away. In real life this happens all the time and mommy won't do it, but school teacher or fellow class mate will.

I try to keep it fun though.

That is the spirit! Imagination and creativity is the key. Did you learn the pieces by yourself? In order to be a role model and a teacher you have to be ahead of your 'student' at least for the beginning

I have been trying to get her to do finger exercises/ proper fingering but she doesn't want to! lol She tried for one week now doesn't want to be bothered...

If she plays a piece with R, L or both hands and the number of seconds much greater then amount of notes on the left, don't bather: she is in process of building basic coordination skills - 'I see - I press'. She doesn't have enough 'room' in her mind for more. She can't process your suggestions yet.

So I am letting it go for now she plays well for only using her pointers for the most part. I do wish she would try to practice proper fingering, oh well in time she will pick it all up.

I would recommend you to write every result down. By looking at her score you will learn a lot about her coordination development. Please, share the numbers with us and I will be able to explain you more at what stage she is and what stage is about to come!